When I graduated college with my degree in Art Education, I knew already that I was not destined to be a classroom teacher for long. In fact, I've seen this trend a million times throughout my life. By the time I reach the conclusion of my formal training in (fill in the blank), I have already moved on energetically to the next thing. As a child and even in my younger adult years, I shamed myself for this for having a short attention span or lacking dedication/commitment. This shaming was instigated and reinforced by others and by cultural norms and structures built for endurance.
Somehow, time and money are always a factor. “You've invested so much time/money, it would be a waste to quit now.”, What if it were not seen as quitting though, but rather as complete? I’ve learned to alchemize this for myself as a form of self-love. Rather than seeing it as acceptable to move on from something once it has been completed by the standards assigned by others, I reframe this and give myself permission to choose when something is complete for me.
There's always more to learn, more to experience, more to do… I could stay in my endeavors because I want to and find joy there, or because I was taught to believe I should. To me, the time spent fighting myself to stay while being completely miserable is no longer a practice that serves me. I know that is that it too contains a gift, however, through the lens of time well spent in alignment with my soul's calling, this is no longer aligns with who I am and how I most authentically show up.
I identify as a seven on the Enneagram. For those of you who know this tool, you will understand that sevens are often associated with the term FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). We are also recognized for not wanting to experience negative emotions. I can relate to both of these concepts on some level and can see how they have shown up in different ways throughout my life through unhealthy patterns and behaviors. However, I can also see how they have served me well.
I would use different labels here though. Instead of the term FOMO which is fear-based, I would explain it as a strong desire to experience. I am driven by excitement and curiosity when opportunities are presented. I thirst for knowledge in a way different than my Enneagram five partner. I need to embody information in order to really understand it. I have my moments of devouring books as well yet my go-to is more of a kinesthetic experience.
As for the negative emotions, I feel my fair share; don't worry. I grieve for the world and feel sadness, despair, guilt, fear, you name it. However, these are parts of my experience that I tend to feel deeply and privately. They are not the expression of my soul that asks to be shared widely.
Because I embody to understand, these energies are felt in a very sensory way for me and they are physically heavy. I can feel the weight of emotions—mine and others— in my body. I have a natural drive to experience; this is how I am (a way of being) alive, and when I am weighed down by this heaviness, it is very easy for me to get stuck. For some it is their way—to go deep, stay, and explore for a while in these emotions, or even for a long time. I more naturally consume something all at once, distill what I need and release it quickly. Generally speaking, I am already aware of where I'm headed and mentally halfway through it before I catch up in the physical realm.
Through the lens of Human Design, I am a generator. I have an enormous amount of creative energy. It is my job to use up all of this energy every day. When I don’t, I become exhausted as my mind continues to race throughout the night and I do not get the proper amount of rest needed to recharge and start my energetic marathon again the following day. It can be and has been a toxic cycle for me at various times in my life. This would be an example of being out of alignment with my natural way of being (or human design strategy).
I spent many years identifying as a night owl. I felt most creative at night when all was quiet. I understand now that I was not burning up enough of my creative energy during the day and was doing my most important work well after the hours of my workday. I now wake up naturally before the sun and I'm in bed by 9 pm most nights. My body is happier and my mind is clearer. I haven't set an alarm in years and I'm more efficient and productive than I've ever been.
This new way of being is in alignment with the natural expression of my soul wisdom and utilizes the strategy of my human design with awareness.
Through an understanding of my natural ways—my cycles and rhythms, my ways of knowing and being—I am able to empower my strengths AND my challenges, and live in integrity with my soul. As an Aries rising—a part of my astrology I never paid much attention to until many years into my exploration of my chart—I am a trailblazer. Exploring what this means and how it is expressed has helped me understand my way of being where I'm often well into my next endeavor mentally before even completing the task at hand. I have a LOT of Earth (grounded) energy, which helps me understand why I need to feel/embody experiences… I could go on.
I am fascinated by tools like Astrology, the Enneagram, and Human Design because they provide me with language to articulate, and a mirror to help me explore who I am and how I show up in my relationships, my work my imagination… all areas of my being. Introspection is one of my ways of knowing. It has shown up as a major attribute in every personality test I've ever taken, but it's not just about me. I actually use this way of knowing to help others.
Here is what my expanded awareness looks like as explained through some of my layers of influence:
I am able to reflect back to you (my clients, peers, friends, colleagues) the wisdom that your soul needs in a language that you understand as we interact. I have an open throat center (Human Design), which means that I have an undefined way of communicating. This makes me a great channel. When I engage with another, I'm able to connect with them energetically (embody their energy) and channel the wisdom needed in that moment (open throat). I have a vast vocabulary to pull from (all those experiences—Enneagram 7) and lived examples to utilize as reference points (introspection).
One of the comments I get most from people as we work together is that I am able to easily see patterns and explain them in relatable ways. This speaks to what I’ve just shared as well as one of my soul wisdom languages—art. It is both a way of knowing and being for me.
All of these tools/explorations have helped me form language around and understand my soul wisdom (ways of knowing and being) on a deeper level. With this awareness, I can consciously engage it to live and work more harmoniously, authentically, and effectively. I know how to work with my energetic resources in sustainable ways and empower my purpose to support others along their journey.
Beginning in April I will be joined by a powerhouse circle of wisdom leaders as, together, we lead a program called The Missing Link. Swati Kameswar, of Activate Your Truth and Power, will be supporting the first layer, as we explore together, all about Expanding Your Awareness Through Layers of Influence.
Everything that I just shared here is what I'm referring to as a layer of influence. Come join us at 1 pm CDT on Thursday, 3/17 on Instagram Live (@atmaitri or @activate_your_truth_and_power) as we explore this topic together and what it means for each of us.
If this all resonates with you and you are excited to learn more about how to empower your layers of influence in your life and your soul-guided business, I invite you to explore with us through The Missing Link. Enrollment is open now. We begin the journey on 4/4/22!
If the artwork that has been presented throughout this post resonates with you, you can learn more about it and the message that accompanies it on my YouTube Channel. I've shared the full video below where I read the message while presenting the image from various views. The theme of the piece is Multidimensionality and it is part of a large collection of Soul Wisdom Vistas—channeled artwork that I create as a part of my devotional morning practice. They each come through first as visual artwork. I receive insights from the way the materials interact and how the image is formed, layer by layer. Eventually, a theme emerges, and with it a message.
I keep them in a drawer in my desk and occasionally rotate them on the walls of my office. I like to have them close by as they often come to mind or make themselves known in my awareness as I work with clients, run workshops, and various other interactions that I engage in within my day-to-day.
This message in particular will be represented as the visual for the first module and will be integrated into the toolbox of resources that energetically support The Missing Link. It is 17-week group experience that will hold a space for soul-guided entrepreneurs to gather with peers and learn from soul wisdom leaders in our field while aligning their soul wisdom ways with their business to create nourishment and sustainability in their business practices. Our first exploration will be bringing awareness to our individual layers of influence.
This program is designed to support soulpreneurs who are already finding success in their business, yet are meeting frustration around old paradigm energies showing up and creating challenges, causing burnout, and blocking progress towards the thriving environment you are calling in. If you would like to set up a Discovery Call to learn more, you can do so here.
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